Foxes(1980)

Jodie Foster has bomb-ass legs.

I know, because I gasped, actually gasped, when she had that talking-fast-while-walking-important-lady on the waterfront scene in
Inside Man. Just the click of her pumps is enough to send today’s panties to the yesterday’s panty pile. Her legs in that scene are the reason why I lunge the last half-block of my daily runs, the vision of her perfectly toned thighs enough to excuse my shame at touching my knees to the sidewalk. You don’t even see her legs in Foxes. In fact, for most of the film she wears these horrendous high-waisted slacks that make her ass look like a pumpkin that fell off the porch. Foxes is so good, I don’t need Jodie’s ass, or her legs, I just need Jodie and twelve-year-old Laura Dern sagely telling a friend that if you’ve got a boyfriend it’s okay to use a diaphragm but otherwise take the pill because you never know when you’re gonna fuck. I think Valley Girl has eclipsed Foxes as the go-to archive of this era of young Angelenas, which is a pity, because the kids here look and act like kids, even Scott Baio, who was probably halfway to Wilt Chamberlain in terms of babes by this point. These are Valley Girls, but they talk like girls, because the mall patois hadn't been invented yet. If you need more proof that Foxes is the superior cultural artifact, consider this: Frank Zappa has a cameo during an Angel concert.

Foxes transcends queer or not queer and exists in an ethereal, just fucking watch it zone, so do it!

Out of a possible 5 professional tennis players I give it an Amelie Mauresmo
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