OMG TMI!
09/05/08 09:28
I
teach English at the college level, so we can swear
and be real and stuff. Sometimes when a student can't
get a paper in on time, the realness is more than I
can handle.
Witness this recent email:
Subject: Paper 3 extension
Dear Margaret,
I really tried to get the paper in on time, but it just wasn't possible. My boyfriend is thinking about joining the Army. He's been thinking about it all the last two weeks, and I'm so worried about him, because the humvees over there don't have enough armor so when the IEDs explode the people get hurt (IEDs are improvised explosive devices, made by insurgents. Most of the Iraqis are really glad we're there, but some of them lost there jobs and stuff and are angry and make explosives out of whatever. Like my friend, well not my friend, just this guy, okay actually my brother, when he was in high school he got this book, The Antichrist's Cookbook and made bombs and then he got a toaster oven for his room. He said he needed it for experiments and then it turned out he used it to dry out banana peels. Then he smoked them because the book said it would get him high. I know, gross, right?) and Paul, my boyfriend, could be in a humvee and he could lose his arm or die or something totally tragic. Anyway, yesterday afternoon the recruiters were on campus, which was weird it was the same time as the farmer's market so there were all these like, hippies and soldiers everywhere.
PAUL TOTALLY ALMOST SIGNED UP! He waited and waited and then he jumped on this climbing wall and played a video game and he was all excited. I was supposed to write my paper but I just knew he was going to die. I was like, I WILL NOT LET YOU SIGN UP and he was like, who are you and why have you been following me around for the last two weeks? Like they brainwashed him, okay? I grabbed him and tried to keep him from signing up and he was like, are you some kind of hippie and I said no, the hippies are over there with all the brown fruit and he said get away from me and I said are you breaking up with me and he said who are you. Then he did some karate move to break my headlock and I didn't even know he knew karate (he does have a super good body tho) and he left me there with the hippies.
Then I got high and forgot about the paper, but I've attached another paper I wrote that you can keep just so that you know that I'm totally a good rider and will definitely hand this in soon.
Love,
Gretl
Those of you who know my day job should know that I will be performing on campus this Saturday. Those of you who can't go, should ask me to come see you.
Upcoming Events by Eventful
Witness this recent email:
Subject: Paper 3 extension
Dear Margaret,
I really tried to get the paper in on time, but it just wasn't possible. My boyfriend is thinking about joining the Army. He's been thinking about it all the last two weeks, and I'm so worried about him, because the humvees over there don't have enough armor so when the IEDs explode the people get hurt (IEDs are improvised explosive devices, made by insurgents. Most of the Iraqis are really glad we're there, but some of them lost there jobs and stuff and are angry and make explosives out of whatever. Like my friend, well not my friend, just this guy, okay actually my brother, when he was in high school he got this book, The Antichrist's Cookbook and made bombs and then he got a toaster oven for his room. He said he needed it for experiments and then it turned out he used it to dry out banana peels. Then he smoked them because the book said it would get him high. I know, gross, right?) and Paul, my boyfriend, could be in a humvee and he could lose his arm or die or something totally tragic. Anyway, yesterday afternoon the recruiters were on campus, which was weird it was the same time as the farmer's market so there were all these like, hippies and soldiers everywhere.
PAUL TOTALLY ALMOST SIGNED UP! He waited and waited and then he jumped on this climbing wall and played a video game and he was all excited. I was supposed to write my paper but I just knew he was going to die. I was like, I WILL NOT LET YOU SIGN UP and he was like, who are you and why have you been following me around for the last two weeks? Like they brainwashed him, okay? I grabbed him and tried to keep him from signing up and he was like, are you some kind of hippie and I said no, the hippies are over there with all the brown fruit and he said get away from me and I said are you breaking up with me and he said who are you. Then he did some karate move to break my headlock and I didn't even know he knew karate (he does have a super good body tho) and he left me there with the hippies.
Then I got high and forgot about the paper, but I've attached another paper I wrote that you can keep just so that you know that I'm totally a good rider and will definitely hand this in soon.
Love,
Gretl
Those of you who know my day job should know that I will be performing on campus this Saturday. Those of you who can't go, should ask me to come see you.
Upcoming Events by Eventful
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